A Project in collaboration with The Ideal Muslimah.
Articles authored for The Ideal Muslimah are available here.
To read the series in chronological order, please click the links below:
Pg 1 | Pg 2 | Pg 3| Pg 4 | Pg 5 | Pg 6 | Pg 7 | Pg 8 | Pg 9 | Pg 10
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بسم الله الرحمن الرحیم
And those who say: “Our Rabb!
Bestow on us from our spouses and our offspring the coolness of our eyes,
and make us leaders for the Muttaqun.”
[Surah Al-Furqan 25:74]
🌸 Ninth (Last) Characteristic: They Always Make Du’a That Their Spouse and Lineage Are The Coolness Of Their Eyes
Alhamdulillah, today we will be discussing the ninth and final characteristic of ‘Ibad-ur Rahman.
In this ayah, we learn that the ‘Ibad-ur Rahman are those who ask Allah s.w.t. to make their spouses and their offsprings the coolness of their eyes. This is an Arabic idiom, so let’s first understand how the phrase [the coolness of the eyes] is used in Arabic.
This phrase is used to depict:
1. Tears of immense joy – When someone says “the eyes becoming warm” or “may Allah warm his eyes”, then it means to say “may that person suffer so much sadness the he sheds tears out of sorrow.” But “the eyes becoming cool” or “cooling the eyes” is the opposite, it means to shed tears out of happiness and joy.
2. Refuge and relief – The Arabs, when travelling in the desert, would wrap their faces as a protection from sandstorms. However they can’t afford to cover their eyes without losing their vision, so they have to keep their eyes exposed. When they finally found refuge, interestingly they would say “My eyes have finally become cool.” So this expression equates to finding refuge from a storm.
These are some of the meanings of the idiom [coolness of the eyes] – to depict tears of immense joy and refuge or relief from storms. Yet sadly, for many of us, that storm is INSIDE the home. Many Muslims’ homes are broken – there are so much anger, sadness, depression, yelling and insults between the spouses, children and their siblings, so much so that people run away from what is supposed to be their refuge from the outside storm!
This is one of the most beautiful and eloquent du’as to ask from Allah s.w.t. for peace and tranquility in our homes, that when we return home to our spouses and children, our mood and morale are uplifted, and our worries disappear.
Before we continue with the next part of the ayah, I want to depict how powerful and super important this du’a is:
Know that there is absolutely no stronger bond between a mother and her baby child. So imagine the state of panic and desperation when Musa’s mother put him (when he ‘alayhi salaam was a baby) in the river to save him from Fir’aun. There must had been a thousand thoughts that came to her mind: Will he be ok? Will the water overturn him? Will he drown? Will he get dehydrated? Will he be picked up by Fir’aun’s soldiers? Will I see him again? So many desperate questions that she didn’t know the answer to any! So can you imagine her state of emotion when she was finally reunited with her beloved Musa ‘alayhi salaam? Look how Allah s.w.t. describes that emotion:
So We restored you to your mother,
that she might cool her eyes and she should not grieve.
[Surah Ta-Ha 20:40]
Allah s.w.t. describes THE MOST amazing joy and relief, THE MOST indescribable feeling in the heart with “the coolness of eyes”. And this is precisely what we ask from Allah from this powerful and beautiful du’a.
But what exactly are the traits of our spouses and offsprings that will bring such coolness of the eyes? What exactly are we asking for our spouses and offsprings from Allah s.w.t. in this du’a?
They are the love of Tawhid and the love of ‘Ibadah.
Ibn Kathir rahimahullah wrote in his tafseer that in this du’a, we are actually asking from Allah s.w.t. to grant us spouses and offsprings who will strive to obey and worship Allah, absolutely without any form of shirk – because it is these traits that will bring the coolness of one’s eyes. Families that will bring one’s joy in this Dunya and the Hereafter are those whose family members, as well as its generations to come, that absolutely love Tawhid and are obedient to Allah s.w.t.
Look at the priority of ‘Ibad-ur Rahman! They are not asking Allah s.w.t. for a beautiful, wealthy, or powerful family and lineage, even though there is nothing wrong to ask that from Allah – but the ‘Ibad-ur Rahman want a family and lineage that absolutely uphold the purity of Tawhid, and love to perform ‘ibadah for the sake of Allah s.w.t. alone. They want a family and lineage that aspire to improve their acts of ‘ibadah, and do not desire to commit evil. They want a family and their future generations whom Allah s.w.t. bestows hidayah in Islam upon them.
Al-Hasan Al-Basri rahimahullah said:
“By Allah, there is nothing that brings the coolness of the eyes to a Muslim
than the obedience to Allah that he sees in his children, grandchildren,
relatives, and close friends.”
The ‘Ibad-ur Rahman Want To Be Leaders of the Muttaqun
The ayah continues:
And those who say: “Our Rabb!
Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the coolness of our eyes,
and make us leaders for the Muttaqun.”
[Surah Al-Furqan 25:74]
Muttaqun means believers who are pious, who have taqwa of Allah s.w.t.
Scholars said that this part of ayah means that the ‘Ibad-ur Rahman love to supplicate to Allah s.w.t. that He makes them leaders who would be taken as examples in good, or as guides who would call others to goodness. They want to leave a legacy behind – a legacy of pious lineage whom Allah loves, whereby their examples and guidance will go beyond themselves and benefit others. They want a lineage that will bring khayr even after their death, for indeed, this is a much more rewarding and a better end. Rasulallah ﷺ said:
“When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three:
(1) a continuous charity,
(2) knowledge by which people derive benefit,
(3) pious child who prays for him.”
Parents who teach and guide their children and their descendants in goodness are whom Rasulallah ﷺ referred to in this hadith. May Allah s.w.t. facilitate us to do the same – Allahuma ameen!
Conclusion of this Ayah
In this du’a, we ask Allah s.w.t. to grant us spouses and children that will be the coolness of our eyes. We ask Allah for a place of refuge and tears of joy – that when we look at our spouse who loves you and advises you for the sake of Allah, or how he or she raises your children so that they grow up to love the Deen, or when you look at your children who love to pray, love the Qur’an – and all other things that indicate their obedience to Allah s.w.t. – make you so happy and grateful that they make you cry.
And just like any du’a, we need to exert efforts as well. We can’t supplicate this du’a and expect everything to magically change the next day. We have to spend quality time and have the patience to rectify, teach, and protect our family. Don’t forget to rectify ourselves as well – we need to aspire in becoming a better parent / husband / wife. With effort, consistency and patience, Allah s.w.t. will grant us that du’a – insya Allah!
Some short practical advice:
💎 Parenting was very different 20 or 40 years ago, and they might be the practical approach in those times, but we can’t use those same methods for our children in this age. We need to be both the authority AND a friend to our children. The biggest priority of a parent is the Islam of his/her children. And the best person who can instill the love of Islam to our children is ourselves, but we will not be able to instill it if we keep yelling at them, or have no time to talk and listen to them.
💎 For the spouses – Wives, there is enough fitnah outside your home. So smile to your husband. Dress up for your husband, not for the public. Your husband should find beauty in you and peace with you. Husbands, stop complaining about everything your wife does. Give compliments and say nice things to her. Help her with the chores. Both spouses should learn about the rights of each other and fulfill them. When we are good parents/husbands/wives, insya Allah so will our children. This is how we can become leaders of the muttaqun.
A short, beautiful du’a – yet it packs so much khayr! This is not only an important du’a for both married AND single Muslims (i.e. for their future spouse and family). May Allah s.w.t. grant us spouses and children who will be the coolness of our eyes, and that He makes us leader of the pious and righteous – Allahumma ameen.
Insya Allah, the next post will be the last article in this series, and we will be talking about the reward for those who have these beautiful traits of ‘Ibad-ur Rahman.
🌸 ‘Ibad-ur Rahman Characteristic Recap 🌸
They always make du’a for Allah to grant them spouses and lineage who will be the coolness of their eyes, meaning a family who loves and upholds the purity of Tawhid, and who are obedient to Allah s.w.t.
They also make du’a to become leaders of the righteous because they want to leave a legacy behind that will not only benefit the ummah, but a legacy that will bring khayr to them even after their death.
Tafsir Ibn Kathir
Who Gets Allah’s Mercy by Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan